Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Thank you for all the responses to last week's post. It got far more attention than I'd anticipated!

This week I'm going to be slightly less controversial (maybe!) and talk about vanity, an issue that is inevitably tied up with self-publishing.

One of the issues I wrestled with while considering self-publishing was my own vanity. I have it in bucket loads. I honestly believe there isn't one writer who isn't vain about their work (if nothing else)! And the reason is, we have to be - whether trad published, self-published (assisted or truly going it alone), or if hoping/planning to be published by any of these routes. If we weren't vain we would never send our work out to agents, or upload it onto Kindle. When we submit our work to agents and editors, or to beta readers or to our partners or to critiquing forums - anywhere at all, we are saying to the world:

Here's something I've written. I think it's pretty good. In fact, I think it might be wonderful.

We know we are vain because if the response is even lukewarm, let alone negative or an outright rejection, we bristle with hurt pride, we leap to our writing's defence (even if only in private), and yes, we are shocked that the reader didn't love our offering.

(One of my caffeine-fuelled writing sessions. Also, nail polish. I told you authors are vain!)  

But in the sensible writer, the true writer who understands that writing is a craft, something else kicks in. I think it's an ability to see our own work as others see it, coupled with the genuine desire to learn and develop. It's also the wisdom to realise that our vanity, while necessary, is almost always false.

The problem with writing is that just about everybody thinks they can do it. We can read, we can write, we can punctuate and spell to one degree or another... we are literate. It's not like being able to paint, or play a musical instrument. Those are rarefied skills that most of us freely admit to not possessing.

"Reflected"

Image courtesy of Pete Tuffrey Artist 

But writing? Easy peasy. Many a time I've told people I'm a novelist and the reply is, "Oh, I would write a novel if I had the time", or, "My great uncle Ebenezer had an amazing life, you could write about that". Or that old chestnut, Everyone's got a novel in them. (They haven't though.)

Many would-be novelists are actually in love with the idea of "being a writer". It tends to top those lists of most desirable occupations time and again. But "being a writer" is a fantasy, a romanticised, Harry Potter-fuelled lie. This notion of "being a writer", coupled with vanity and ego is enough to convince some people that they "should" be published. It's not wildly different to the people who audition for The X Factor. "I really, really want this," they say, regardless of their talent. But if I wanted to "be" a great clarinetist, I wouldn't just buy a clarinet and climb up on stage and try to play it. I'd look like a compete fool. What I would do is buy a clarinet and take lessons. I would practice for hours, days, years. Realistically, I would probably accept somewhere along the line that I would never be good enough to perform to an audience other than my mother. But writing is more subtle than that, it's far murkier. What we produce looks like writing. And these days we can turn it, more or less by ourselves, into something that looks like a book.

I asked myself over and over, isn't that what I would be doing? Is self-publishing this novel nothing but a vanity project? And other thoughts - so what if my debut got a book deal? This isn't that novel. It's a different novel and it may not be as interesting, or as commercial, or as whatever. There must be a reason it didn't get a trad deal, I tell myself, and it's true. I'm risking making an almighty fool of myself, making all those horrible noises on my metaphorical clarinet.

I still wrestle with those doubts and fears. I think I'm going to throughout this project. But I hold on to the fact that I can write fairly well, I know my current limitations, and I'll always strive to exceed them. I hope I understand the craft of writing, that truly it's not much to do with the ability to put words onto paper (although that is a start). It's little to do with imagination either - everybody has imagination. It's all about responsibility to our readers. If we are vain enough to present our work to the world in whatever capacity, that's fine to a point, as long as we remember to forget about ourselves, and get inside our reader's experience, and be considerate of them at all times. A good novel is a crafted performance and as long as we hang onto that thought, I think it's fair to publish our work in any way we can or in any way we choose, and see what the world has to say about it.

Next week I'm going to talk about validation. See you then!

Disclosure: Pete Tuffrey is my brother and he's a brilliant artist, do check out his work.

Why self-publish?

Last week I told the world (my small bookish corner of it anyway) that I was intending to self-publish my second novel.

But why self-publish? I've had to think about this at length. Goodness knows I thought about taking the plunge for an awful long time... several weeks stretching into months of "Shall I?" "Should I?" "Won't it be cheating?" "Will I lose all credibility?" "Do I have any credibility to lose?" These and other equally ponderous and uncomfortable questions kept me awake at night.

The simple truth is, I'm going to self-publish A Life Between Us because I want to. Now that I've committed to the project I can stop worrying about what other people think and just get on with the job in hand, which is writing, editing and marketing A Life Between Us to the best of my ability.

Writing is a kind of magic, and getting a book deal is too. When Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase got its deal it was incredible. I enjoyed every moment of the process - getting the news, meeting the team at Hodder, working through all the edits, seeing the cover for the first time, receiving my proof copies, then the beautiful finished copies, spotting my book in shops... it was a rapturous, crazy time that I will never forget. But of course, being the slightly megalomaniac person I am (all writers have to be?) I want to do it all over again. And again... and again.

But my second novel, submitted in 2014, wasn't picked up by Hodder. It was a blow, but after a few weeks I gathered myself and I worked hard on editing. I changed much of the plot, I changed character names, I changed the title. I still believed in it. My agent sent it out again...

All right, "Because I want to" isn't really an answer, so here are some of the reasons I want to. Warning: I'm going to be honest.

A Life Between Us didn't get a traditional book deal. I would have taken a trad deal and in fact I came tantalisingly close in 2015 to getting one. I was invited to a meeting with an independent publisher. They told me how much they enjoyed my novel and how interested they were in publishing it: all very positive and exciting. A week later they changed their mind. As you can imagine, that was crushing. And the reason? I think it's because my novels or ideas for novels are all so different, it would be hard to "market" me as an author. I don't know. Perhaps there were other reasons. My husband wasn't best pleased. He took a day of annual leave so I could go to London for that meeting. I spent £34 on a train ticket. I'm still considering sending the publisher an invoice for my expenses.

I believe a good book is a good book. Possibly I'm hopelessly naive and romantic (and a little bit conceited) but honestly, you don't get asked to drag yourself down to London by a publisher to discuss your book if that book is not publishable. No publisher is going to waste their time if the story is no good (and by "good" I simply mean publishable). They just aren't. So, funnily enough, the disappointment of that strangely inexplicable experience has given me more belief in this novel. I'm indebted to the publisher for that - if nothing else. OK, decision made: I won't send them an invoice.


I've worked out, rather painfully, that the publishing industry (in very general terms of course and not including agents) is...(whispers) not quite as loyal as it could be to its authors - without whom there would be no industry. I probably don't need to say anything further, but I'm going to.

It seems that in order to be feted or encouraged or even appreciated by the publishing industry you must be a very well established author (and that is well and good and as it should be), or a debut author. Which strikes me as a real shame, because who, seriously, produces their best work at their first, or second, or even third attempt?

Can I be really honest? If I hear the words "sparkling debut" or "stunning debut" one more time, I'm going to vomit. What's wrong with "sparkling third novel"? Many writers are not given the time and support to prove themselves as the writers they are capable of being. They are brushed aside too readily, to make way for yet another "stunning debut", which, most of the time, is anything but - Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase included. I know that's not my best work. Nor is A Life Between Us. But they are both, I hope, readable, publishable, and perfectly serviceable and necessary stepping stones on the way to my best work.

It's great to publish and showcase debut authors, of course it is. We all are debut authors. But only ONCE. After that we have to build on that first novel, and write the second novel, perhaps not getting it quite right at our first attempt. Ideally we do this with support and guidance from a trusted editor who knows our potential. For too many of us, that just doesn't happen. If writers are dumped too readily, I believe readers miss out, and in the long run the publisher misses out too. Writing is a long haul. Publishers, as well as authors, need vision.

I don't hate the publishing industry, I really don't. Where on earth would we be without it? But I am frustrated and disillusioned, which in turn has led to my decision to commit to myself, to be loyal to myself, to be my own caretaker and gatekeeper to my own career, at least for now.

More next week. I'm going to address the thorny, muddled issue of vanity...

Sistah is doin' it for herself!

I am delighted, excited and absolutely terrified to announce that  my second novel is going to be published in February 2017 and the publisher is... ME... with a lot of help (an awful lot of help!) from those lovely people at Matador.

The novel will be published in paperback and e-book and will be called A Life Between Us.

Over the coming months I'll be updating progress here on on my blog and on my Facebook writer's page, and on Twitter.

Advance review copies should be available in the autumn, so do please let me know if you'd like one and I'll start drawing up a list now. I'll also be running a giveaway before publication, and over the coming year I'll be revealing the cover, and posting up the opening chapter here on my blog. I'm also planning a series of blog posts about the self-publishing process, and an article (or two, or three) about my decision to self-publish.

In the meantime, here's a photo of Mrs Sinclair's latest foreign edition. This one is Bulgarian. Mrs S is now published in 14 languages, which is beyond exciting.

Do keep in touch, it will be lovely to have you on board! More news soon...

Louise xx

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My Reading Year 2015

A bit late, but here's the list of the books I've read in the past year. Last December I wrote a post about the books I'd read in 2014. That year I read 32 books, which I thought was quite a lot. This year I managed 39 which I'm astounded by. It's been a busy year for the whole family. Since August we've been going through the process of buying and selling our house. Just before Christmas we moved and now we are busy decorating, drilling holes, putting down carpets... you name it! I've found a gorgeous corner in our living room for some of my books (ignore the pile of Mrs Sinclair foreign editions on the floor!):

Here's what I read in 2015, all fiction unless otherwise stated:

The Winter Ghosts by Kate Mosse
The Small Hand by Susan Hill
The Dead Wife's Handbook by Hannah Beckerman
Letters to the Lost by Iona Grey
The Eye in the Door by Pat Barker
The Night Watch by Sarah Waters
Moon Tiger by Penelope Lively (a wonderful re-read!)
The Betrayal by Helen Dunmore
The Restoration of Otto Laird by Nigel Packer
The Followers by Rebecca Wait
Rumer Godden: A Storyteller's Life by Anne Chisholm (biography)
How to Make a Friend by Fleur Smethwick
Kingfishers Catch Fire by Rumer Godden
The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters
Our Endless Numbered Days by Claire Fuller

Song of the Seamaid by Rebecca Mascull
Academy Street by Mary Costello
Ammonites and Leaping Fish by Penelope Lively (memoir)
Because it is Bitter and Because it is My Heart by Joyce Carol Oates
Passing On by Penelope Lively
The Black Madonna of Derby by Joanna Czechowska
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith (another wonderful re-read)
Close Range by Annie Proulx (short stories)
The Writer's Journey by Christopher Vogler (about writing)
Summertime by Vanessa Lafaye
The Art of Baking Blind by Sarah Vaughan
Dear Life by Alice Munro (short stories)
Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder (about writing)
Story by Robert McKee (about writing)
The Other Me by Saskia Sarginson
The Definitive Guide to Screen Writing by Syd Field (about writing)
Into the Woods by John Yorke (about writing)
Four Screenplays by Syd Field (about writing)
The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy (the third re-read this year)
The Summer of Secrets by Sarah Jasmon
In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden
Honeydew by Edith Pearlman (short stories)
Under the Ivy: The Life and Music of Kate Bush by Graeme Thomson (biography)
Heat Lightning by Helen Hull

That's 39 books, 7 more than last year, I have no idea how I managed it! Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing as much this year... or I've read in bed far too late far too many nights. Once again I've read many more women writers than men.

I've also been working on this all year, finally finishing it in October;

It's a quilt for my daughter. When she opened it on Christmas Day we both cried. Some of the fabrics were from her childhood frocks and some of the patches were made in the 1970s by my grandmother, but never worked by her into a project. It was a pleasure to use them in this quilt.

Wishing everybody a happy year of reading in 2016 

xx

Christmas Giveaway

Well, sort of a Christmas Giveaway... more of a pre-house-move-clear-out giveaway!


If you would like a signed copy of the US edition of Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase please reply in comments below and I will pick a winner (or two!) in a week's time, next Thursday, 26 November (Thanksgiving I believe, if you're in the USA!)

Signed, sealed and delivered in time for Christmas!

I also have German, Hungarian, Czech, Spanish, Dutch, Swedish and Italian copies to give away too, as well as UK and US audio versions.

Hungarian and Italian editions (the yellow strip is easily removed)

If you'd like any of these, or know anybody who might like any of them, again please just let me know in comments, stating which edition you would like. 

Thank you all xx

PS, I will post anywhere in the world, open to all.

Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase is coming to America

I'm thrilled to say my debut novel is going to be published in the USA tomorrow, Tuesday 4th August.

It's been quite a journey bringing this book to publication in the USA. Two summers ago my agent phoned me. She sounded excited, and told me the good news: We had a publication deal in the USA! Then she said, have you heard of Amy Einhorn? I said No. My agent explained to me who Amy Einhorn was and which books she had published, among them The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I got off the phone, looked Amy up on the internet, as you do, and I knew why my agent was so excited. I rang my husband to tell him the good news and he came home with this:

Amy rang me at home and we talked about my novel, and how she worked, and how she was hoping to sell Mrs Sinclair in America. A few weeks later we got to work on the US edits (some of which found their way into the UK version, just to keep things all tied up neatly).

A few months down the line, and we got the news from Amy that she was going to be leaving Putnam's Sons and I would have a new editor for Mrs Sinclair. I was a little disappointed, and daunted, but I needn't have worried. Amy's former assistant Liz Stein took over and she did a lovely job, over-seeing the cover design among other things.

Another few months down the line, and Liz rang me to tell me she was going to be leaving too! I was pretty worried this time, wondering if my book was going to disappear down a publishing black hole in between all these editors. We writers like, no, we LOVE and appreciate the stability of an editor who understands our work and is committed to it. Again, I needn't have worried. Helen Richard has taken over as my third US editor and has been a pleasure to work with. She keeps me posted about any reviews or write-ups and she seems as excited about Mrs Sinclair's fortunes in America as I am.

So there we are, and here I am on the eve of my first publication in the USA. It's been a long journey, and a learning curve, a pretty steep one at times. I've learned, again, that the pace of publishing is glacial... but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Writing is also a slow process and it's just the nature of it. I've also learned that nothing is permanent, people come and go just as they do in all other walks of life, and it doesn't pay to get freaked out over it. This is life, this is publishing. And actually I am fortunate to be having my novel published at all, something I try to remember when things don't always go to plan.

I have a signed US hardback copy to give away if anybody would like it. Please just leave a comment here on my blog or favourite/re-tweet/reply on Twitter @LouiseWalters12. Open to all, I'll post anywhere in this small world of ours.

Thank you!

Guest author: Rebecca Mascull

Today I'd like to welcome my friend and fellow author Rebecca Mascull to my blog. Rebecca's second novel, Song of the Seamaid is published tomorrow.

First things first - What is Song of the Sea Maid about?

It's the story of an C18th orphan girl, Dawnay Price, who is lucky enough to find a benefactor and is educated as a scientist. She defies the conventions of her day and travels abroad to further her studies. And there, she makes a remarkable discovery...It's set in London, Portugal and the Mediterranean and explores science, feminism, education, orphanages, the age of sail, the natural world, war and belief, as well as being a love story. So I hope it's got something for lots of different kinds of readers.

This is your second novel. Did you suffer from Second Novel Syndrome?

I did and I didn't! I was nervous about starting it, as I was convinced I couldn't write anything better than the last book. But I wrote 3 novels before my first published one - THE VISITORS - and I thought that every time! So, I'm used to it. But once I got started, I realised I just had to put that fear behind me and invest in the new story and in Dawnay. She was such a strong presence for me early on and I felt as if she took me by the hand and said, Come on! I think her resolve was partly my resolve to write again and be fearless. Once I started writing, I enjoyed myself tremendously and was quite bereft when I'd finished. I wanted to stay there!

I wrote about the 'difficult second novel' thing here - it sums up my feelings quite well, including fear and nausea!

You do a lot of research. Which process do you prefer - the research or the actual writing? 

That's a good question and my answer is - both! I love those early glimmerings, when the novel is starting to crystallise and that's when the research can drive the story. That's a very exciting stage and it feels open to all possibilities, an open road. Yet, there's also tremendous satisfaction when it starts to coalesce and I get a synopsis done, which I always do. And once that's done and a chapter plan, and I sit down to actually write the thing, that's where the hard work really starts for me: the drafting stage. I write quickly and scrappily and fill in gaps later. So my first draft takes a heck of a lot of mental energy. I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole way through. I don't want to spoil the magic and screw it up. In some senses, I'm glad when I finish the first draft, but I'm also very, very sad, as I know I'll never be in that first rush of creation with that story again, and the rest will just be pruning. It's a little like first love! That breathless rush and obsession with it, always thinking of it. But then, as a novelist with many more stories to tell, I get to have first love again each time I start a new story! I love my job in that way.

So far you've published historical fiction. Do you have any plans to publish a contemporary novel?

In general, I have to say that the modern world in fiction does rather bore me. I've tried to analyse this many times, as I am very interested in the modern world itself and watch the news every day and love keeping up with current events. Maybe it's to do with the fact that my favourite thing about fiction is the escapism of it, in getting away from my own current existence and inhabiting someone else's shoes. With that as my aim, I don't generally want to be in the modern world when I'm trying to escape it (if that makes sense!) Having said that, there are some books about modern life that absolutely grabbed me, like 'Where d'you go, Bernadette?' which I just adored. And that was bang up to date and completely absorbed me. But generally in my reading, and certainly in my own fiction, I want to imagine another world - and the past is that for me. But I'd never say never, and who knows? I might write about contemporary England one day. But no plans at the present!

(LW: I loved this one too!)

One of my favourite questions: who are your literary influences? Which writers or books could you not live without?

Oh gosh, that is such a hard question to answer, as you always want to come back and revise it! But I'd say my main influences are so disparate and unrelated, that there is very little pattern to it. I just stumble across books and writers I love, almost always by random accident. And it takes a rare writer for me to love all of their books. I love Margaret Atwood's historical or contemporary fiction, but I don't find her speculative fiction as compelling, as brilliantly written as it is. I love Charles Dickens, actually I quite worship him! But I didn't take to The Pickwick Papers at all and much prefer the darker books, like Great Expectations. 

Other writers who've influenced me are Annie Proulx, just in the sheer range and guts of a book like Accordian Crimes. Elizabeth Jane Howard is a recent discovery, and I fell head-first into her 5 Cazalet novels and came up about 3 months later bereft at having finished them all. It's too fresh for me to really understand how she did it, but I will be rereading and analysing it for years to try and work it out, believe me! And my most recent, breathtaking discovery was Moon Tiger by Penelope Lively, which you and I read together, of course - one of your favourites! (We wrote about it here)

(LW: one of my favourites indeed. It may even be my favourite now - is Jane Eyre finally toppled?)

The verve and honesty of it, and the messing about with perspective - this really made me feel I needed to just be brave and say, Stuff it, I'm gonna write this story however the bloody well I like. As that's what Lively did in that book. And that really inspired me. I wrote about my reading influences on my website here.

Do you have any advice for as yet unpublished writers? 

  

Well, there is no easy answer. It's a bloody minefield, this writing business. If you write novels and your aim is to be published, you have to accept that it is not going to be easy. It could take years - decades even - or never happen. It's about perseverance, self-belief and very hard work. There might be a modicum of luck in there somewhere too - but if someone says to a published novelist - You're so lucky - they've missed the point, I think. It wasn't luck that made that writer slog away for years honing their craft. For most writers I know, it's been a road of trials in one way or another. But all of that sounds rather negative, and I don't want to put people off! I'm just being honest. I've had a lot of disappointment along the way, and it's made me a stronger person and a better writer - I don't regret a moment of it. I adore my job and I am pretty grumpy doing any other form of work, to be honest! So it was all worth it.  But what I'd like to leave any aspiring writers with is this: KEEP GOING. There will be a thousand reasons to give up, but you mustn't let the bastards get you down. Keep writing from your heart, read great writers and improve your work constantly. Never be satisfied with sloppy, lazy writing and never stop working hard.  If you get enough signs from the world that what you're doing is good, and if you keep working hard, you'll get there.

***

Thank you Rebecca for your insights, not to mention some great reading recommendations. Those Cazalet novels are calling to me... and good luck with Song of the Seamaid.

Rebecca lives by the sea in the east of England with her partner Simon, their daughter Poppy and cat Tink. She has worked in education and has a Masters in Writing. She is also a member of The Prime Writers, a support group for those writers who commercially/traditionally published their first novel aged 40+.